Is EQ for YOU? – Part 2

Last week we started the debate about EQ, Click here to read Part 1 if you missed this.

The EQ aspirin

Time is often wasted on unresolved conflict with negative emotional responses serving little or no purpose in terms of the core outcomes of your business or goals. However, high-EQ thinkers resolve conflict quickly and effectively and are therefore able to deliver high performance.

Here are some areas where EQ can really make a difference:

• Untapped potential. People use approximately 30 per cent of their potential at work, mainly because they don’t have a leader or mentor to encourage them or to unlock hidden skills. EQ Business Brains develop their teams and provide opportunities for individuals to express themselves more effectively.

• Lost customers and lower referral rates. To create an advocate for your business means taking a existing customer and generating service built around trust, respect, quality and appreciation – all EQ-led attributes.

• Cost of stress-related illnesses. Modern life is now more and more technology-reliant. However, health is based around the mind–body connection. So when it comes to wellbeing you can forget iPads and tablets how you think and feel about the world often dictates how you respond to situations and being able to use EQ thinking with make you more mentally resilient and mindful.

• Un-resourceful thinking. While limited and restrictive mind-sets can create a sense of safety, security and comfort, if you truly want to make a difference then you should never stop learning. The world evolves and you need to evolve with it to become truly successful. EQ leaders know that their reality is simply a reflection of how they have filtered their experience and the world around them, and this makes them more aware and responsive in their behaviour.
• Coaching and influencing. EQ leaders understand the need to ‘get people on board’ with their ideas and concepts. The ability to shape people’s thinking towards your ideas is a true benefit for anyone in business.

Emotional Intelligence: the six domains

EQ is an extremely powerful concept. It embodies the most accessible, positive and useful aspects of modern psychology, and so can be helpful in virtually every aspect of personal and interpersonal relations. EQ is beneficial for self-development, as well as for businesses and organisations.

• Knowing and managing your own emotions
• Knowing how to generate solid outcomes
• Becoming agile and flexible in your thinking
• Understanding rapport and empathy
• Becoming more self-aware
• Being the best version of you

 EQ in action – What’s your positive intention?

Simply put, at some level all behaviour has a positive purpose.

The positive purpose supporting certain aggressive behaviour, for example, may be protection. The positive intention behind intimidation can often be driven by a need for controlling someone or perceived power over others. The positive purpose behind fear is often safety. The positive purpose behind anger can be to maintain boundaries. Hate may have the positive purpose for motivating a person to take action. The positive intentions behind something like resistance to change could encompass a range of issues including the desire to acknowledge, honour or respect the past, a need to protect oneself by staying with the familiar and an attempt to hold on to the positive things one has had in the past.

Sometimes a particular challenging behaviour or symptom may even serve multiple positive intentions. An example may be someone who rarely sees things through to the end. They may start something because it is interesting and stimulating. They may then get other people involved because they enjoy the attention and the recognition of being thought of as popular. They may then decide not to complete the thing that got them so excited initially because distraction removes the mundane and feeds the original feeling of stimulation they have since lost. They may not want the growing pressure of expectation, so they down tools to avoid this. Or they may simply feel that their idea is proving too time- consuming, so they start doing the stuff they enjoy more and fulfils their real values.

The best EQ Brains understand how to use positive intention to their advantage. They know the three things to consider within this context:

• People are more than just their behaviour. People’s actions are based on their own, often consciously unknown, positive intention rather than being designed to damage you or your goals. By knowing this you can help others develop by broadening their views, assessing their impact and its consequences rather than attacking their actions.
• Judgement can be suspended. Because you now have a great awareness of why people perhaps behave in perceived odd and damaging ways you can suspend negative judgement and work on education rather than ridicule or frustration.
• Focused positive intention. You need to invest time in understanding what motivates you and those around you. Learn that everyone is driven towards these motivators and act in accordance with supporting them in order to maximise positive intentions and pace and lead them in the right direction.

Now that you understand positive intention, why not think of some of your own potentially challenging behaviours that may not support your mission. Once you’ve identified these, seek the potential positive intention for each of them, then think about how you could move away from these behaviours and find more resourceful alternatives – or even change the intention behind them to something that is more supportive

Thank you to Oliver for this guest blog, we hope you all found it as fascinating as we did. To contact Oliver feel free to either call 0845 521 0869 or email ot@oliverthompsontraining.co.uk

W: www.oliverthompsontraining.co.uk l www.the-business-brain.com